10 Hilarious lines by cricket commentators

If there is one thing that blindly supports a sport, it has to be the commentary of it. The viewing experience of any sport is incomplete without the commentators and their tireless efforts to educate us about the minute details related to it.

Cricket is no different and fans watching a match on TV or streaming it online always make sure they have the volume at the right level to not miss a single point brought forward by the people with the mic. A little history, unknown records or an analysis from a different perspective, the commentators put their heart and soul into turning the viewing experience of the fans to a remembered one.

Also, the best thing they do is not make commentary a monotonous practice. Thus, more often than not they try to add a sense of a funny and casual approach to their job and present to the fans the entertainment value of cricket as well.

However, on many occasions, they have been unable to limit their casual approach and have ushered words, either knowingly or unknowingly, which had the fans subjected to a laughter riot.

In the following lines, we take a look at some of the funniest words said by cricket commentators ever

1. “Ye wohi baat hui ki agar meri chachi ki munchhey hoti toh main use chacha kehta”

The master of punchlines in cricket commentary, Navjot Singh Sidhu has to be there at the top of the list when the discussion is around funny things said by the commentators. Among the many nerve-tickling moments that he has gifted with his voice during a game, one of his best came during an India-Pakistan match.

Pakistan needed 14 off the last two balls to win the game and Rameez Raza hoped against all the odds and said, “Agar ek ya do no ball ho jaaye aur fir six lag jaye toh Pakistan jeet jaayegi (If there are one or two no-balls and then two sixes are hit, Pakistan can win).”

Sidhu, at the other end, gave a hilarious reply and said, “Ye wohi baat hui ki agar meri chachi ki munchhey hoti toh main use chacha kehta (It’s like saying if my aunty had a moustache I would have called her uncle)”.

2. “Well, Imran Tahir just won a gold medal!!”

One of the most respected and celebrated commentators in cricket, Harsha Bhogle is one man from whom the fans expect a meticulous explanation of any cricketing activity. And regardless of his to-the-point and apt understanding of the game, he, too has, a funny side to himself.

During the quarter-final match between Sri Lanka and South Africa in the ICC World Cup 2015, Bhogle described Imran Tahir’s wicket-taking celebration in the most sarcastic-yet-appropriate words.

After Tahir got better off Lahiru Thirimane and went for his trademark run all over the ground, Bhogle said, “Well, Imran Tahir just won a gold medal!! He would have been in the stands if the match had been played in New Zealand.”

3. “Abhi abhi Nehra kuch samjha kar gaye hain Pandya ko…”

If one’s talking about funny and witty lines said by commentators and forgetting Virender Sehwag, he/she is committing a grave sin. The master of sarcasm, Sehwag never fails to surprise the cricket fans with his sense of humour, be it on his Twitter timeline or in the commentary box.

Once with the mic in his hand, Sehwag described a dropped catch in his own language to leave the cricket fans in splits. He said, “Yeh itna asaan catch tha ki Sholay ka Thakur bhi Pakad leta (It was such an easy catch that even Sholay’s Thakur would have taken it)”.

The former India opener was at his best once again during a match between India and Bangladesh in the World T20 in 2016 which the Men in Blue had dramatically won in the last ball.

Taking a funny jibe at his former teammate Ashish Nehra, who had advised Hardik Pandya during the last over, Sehwag said, “Abhi abhi Nehra kuch samjha kar gaye hain Pandya ko, shayad apna anubhav bata kar gaye hain. Iska fayda bhi ho sakta hai aur nuksaan bhi (Nehra has advised Pandya to do something. Maybe he has shared his experience and it can either win India the match or make them lose)”.

4. “And Glenn McGrath dismissed for two, just 98 runs short of his century.”

One of the greatest cricket commentators ever, Richie Benaud was another analyst of the game who hardly made a mistake while describing an activity related to the sport. But he, too, was the owner of a great sense of humour, which more often than not had the TV and radio audience in splits.

Glenn McGrath is known for his deadly swing-bowling and not really for his batting. But that did not stop Benaud from taking a dig at the legendary fast bowler’s ability with the willow. Once commentating in a match which saw the former Australian cricketer getting out for two, Benaud said, “And Glenn McGrath dismissed for two, just 98 runs short of his century”.

Benaud, who started his career as a cricketer and finished it as a commentator, broadcaster and writer, was possibly the wisest scholar of the game. Also, he was a mentor to legendary Australian cricketers like Shane Warne and Ian Chappell.

5. “I don’t know what these fellows are doing, but whatever they are doing, they sure are doing it well.”

The next incident involves not a regular commentator but a Tennis legend. Pete Sampras, who with 14 Grand Slam titles had the record winning the most number of Majors till Roger Federer broke it in 2009, had gone on to see a cricket match between the West Indies and England at the Lord’s.

Unaware of the rules and the process of the game, Sampras had a hard time understanding the sport. However, that did not deter him from enjoying his time. Describing West Indian legends Brian Lara and Curtly Ambrose bat, Sampras jokingly said, “I don’t know what these fellows are doing, but whatever they are doing, they sure are doing it well.”

Though not many news surface from the time when the Tennis veteran went to the Lord’s, Sampras’ one-line explanation of Lara and Ambrose’s play has gone down in the history books of the game as one of the funniest quotes to have come out of the commentary box.

6. “Jayasurya ki wife ko chinta nahi karni chahiye ab sab thik hai”

Kapil Dev is one speaker who has released some of the funniest phrases as a Hindi commentator. His “Mushkil toh nahin keh sakte hain, tough zaroor hoga India ke liye (Can’t say it will be hard for India but it will definitely be tough for them)” has gained a cult status among fans.

But the best came during his initial days of broadcasting. While commentating for a match between India and Sri Lanka during the late 90s, which had Sanath Jayasuriya getting hit straight on his abdomen guard for him to lie on the ground with intense pain, the 1983 World Cup-winning captain said what no one would have even expected in wildest of their dreams.

After Jayasuriya recovered in few minutes and stood up, Dev said, “Jayasurya ki wife ko chinta nahi karni chahiye ab sab thik hai (Jayasuriya’s wife should not worry much, everything’s all right now)”. YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT!!

7. “I think we are all slightly down in the dumps after another loss.”

This one’s from the archives and was said by legendary England cricketer Ted Dexter. The words came out of Dexter’s mouth at the Lord’s after England lost seven consecutive Test matches against Australia in 1993.

“I think we are all slightly down in the dumps after another loss. We may be in the wrong sign…Venus may be in the wrong juxtaposition with somewhere else,” said the former all-rounder in order to explain his nation’s slump against Australia. Though it was not a very apt or critical assertation of the situation, it surely gave the English fans something to laugh about.

Also a former captain of the Three Lions, Dexter represented England in all-whites between 1958 and 1968. He had amassed a total of 4502 Test runs and was known as the greatest power-hitters of his time. He also had 66 wickets to his name before he retired and tried his luck in the commentary.

8. “Ye toh bohot hi buri halat agar ummidein Afridi pe tiki hain”

Though not known as a witty and sarcastic character, Rahul Dravid has also had some fun with the mic in his hand. Commentating during the India-Pakistan match in ICC World Cup 2015, Dravid had everyone dying with laughter with his reply to Shoaib Akhtar.

After the Pakistani innings was put in a tough situation by the Indian bowlers, Akhtar had said, “Pakistan ke liye jeetna ab kaafi mushkil, sarri ummidein ab sirf Afridi pe tiki hain (It will be tough for Pakistan to win now, all the hopes are now resting on Afridi).”

To which Dravid gave a savage reply and took everyone by surprise and, of course, to a repetitive round of laughters. He said, “Ye toh bohot hi buri halat agar ummidein Afridi pe tiki hain (It is really pathetic if the hopes are resting on Afridi).”

9. “That was a tremendous six. The ball was still in the air as it went over the boundary.”

Another vintage one, it had former England and Yorkshire fast bowler Freddie Trueman describing a six in one of the most bizarre, yet true, manners. He said, “That was a tremendous six. The ball was still in the air as it went over the boundary.”

Trueman was the first pacer to take 300 Test wickets, a landmark he reached at the Oval in 1964, and is often regarded as one of the greatest fast bowlers to have ever breathed. He retired from the game in 1965 before joining commentary.

The one talked above was one of the many nerve-tickling comments that came out of Trueman. Once describing fellow commentator Geoffrey Boycott, Truemand had jokingly said, “If Geoffrey had played cricket the way he talked, he would have had people queuing up to get into the ground instead of queuing up to leave.”

10. “Shoaib, apka bas chale toh aap Wahab se shaadi kar lein” 

The last one again involves Shoaib Akhtar and Kapil Dev and it came during the ICC World Cup in 2015. Wahab Riaz, who was in fiery form in that tournament, had impressed everyone with his pace and approach. But it looked like he had a magical effect on Akhtar.

Describing Riaz, the world’s fastest bowler had said, “Bohot hi mazboot tangey, mazboot kandhey, lambey haath. Kul mila ke bohot hi khoobsurat khiladi (He has strong legs, strong shoulders and long hands. All in all, he is a complete player).”

To which Dev gave an apt reply, “Shoaib, apka bas chale toh aap Wahab se shaadi kar lein (Shoaib, if you can have it you might want to marry Wahab as well).”