Satire: Revealing edited details from MS Dhoni: The Untold Story

There was so much speculated and surmised ahead of the release of MS Dhoni: The Untold Story. Everyone wished to know what was the ‘untold’ part in the movie and so we decided to sneak in our ‘Khabri’ (undercover reporter) for the censor screening of the movie, so that they don’t just get to watch the movie but get to watch it before the censor board chief Mr Palhaj Nihalani comes into action and chips, chops and cuts the movie.

So my Khabri returned to tell me that Palhaj wanted to cut a lot of scenes in the movie, especially the ones where MS Dhoni went after the bowlers and absolutely thrashed them. He thought it was too violent and not fit for consumption of a family audience and felt they should have flowers shaking around when he hits sixes. And just when he was about to impose the cuts his phone buzzed and he heard Nihalani say, “Yes mama, yes mama, sorry mama, no mama, nothing, yes mama, will pass it uncut as it is.” And then he just ordered to pass it as it was.

But that was not why I had sent him in; he went there to get me inside information about who the three players were that Dhoni could be seen referring in the trailer who he didn’t want in the team. He kept it a secret from me and forced me to watch the movie myself and when I came back and was just about to hit him with a bat since there was nothing revealed in the movie he was shocked. He said it was a part of the original print that he saw.

The eventful selection meeting:

So what was it that we missed and my little Khabri boy saw? He narrated the exact visuals and dialogues from the movie as I transcript it word by word, “There was a meeting with the selection panel and Dhoni was called and connected by video conference to discuss about the team. He heard them out, all the discussions and didn’t interrupt but when the selectors were just about to write the names down, at that exact moment he said ‘Thehro!!’ in typical Bollywood style. The selector froze and lifted his fingers that were just about to roll and write a name.”

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He continued saying, “Dhoni then said I don’t want Sourav Ganguly, Gautam Gambhir and Virender Sehwag to be a part of the team anymore. They were too sloppy on the field and didn’t fit the team he wanted to play with. When one of the selectors tried to question him Dhoni quickly retaliated and said ‘have you won India a World Cup? No it’s me. Are you the captain of the team now? No it’s me. So you do as I say and pick the players as I say.”

By this time the Khabri had his hands on his mouth having already bitten all his nails. He told me that Dhoni later in the meeting also said that if they didn’t listen to him, he will vote for Congress in the next elections and will ensure Pappu Gandhi becomes the Prime Minister of the country. That left the selectors with no choice but to listen to him.

Dhoni’s finishing act:

Now this was not acceptable to me, how could they edit it and when did they edit it? So it turns out Dhoni wasn’t aware of that scene, the makers hadn’t shown it to him and when he learnt about it right before the release he sent in commandos for surgically removing that part from the movie making it a close finish once again so that the world never knows what was going through MS Dhoni’s mind.

He loves to keep the strike with himself in the last over. We all know what he did to Ambati Rayudu. This is something similar. The strike (the names of those 3 players) will always stay with Dhoni. Now you know how it feels to be Ambati Rayudu.

Disclaimer: It is a satire post and all the characters, story, content is work of fiction and meant for entertainment purpose only.