SH*T News of the day: James Faulkner plans for Kohli, Maxwell upset with Ashwin's omission

The India vs Australia series is all set to begin today at the Chepauk Stadium. Ever since the Australian team has landed in the country, they’ve been busy making strategies for different Indian players. James Faulkner remarked that after having been smashed enough in his life by Kohli, he’s looking forward to taking revenge this time.

He has made sure that it won’t be the same this time around. When asked what were his plans, Faulkner remarked, ‘I would go off the field when he comes on strike.’ Steve Smith has been worried lately that like his time in the Rising Pune Supergiant, MS Dhoni might again turn him into a spectator and start making decisions for the Australian team as well. He has referred to the dressing room seeking a solution on this.

Pat Cummins seems to have found a unique plan to get rid of Ajinkya Rahane. Our SH*T news sources reveal that Cummins has planned to place a banana skin on the pitch to block him while he runs. As soon as the news reached Ashok Dinda, he quickly came to Rahane’s aide and promised to teach him high jump techniques to overcome the hurdle.

It’s also been reported that David Warner has learnt enough Hindi to ensure he wouldn’t have to ask Rohit to speak in English again. When asked to speak a few words, he remarked, ‘Bol Na Rohit Aau Kya, Ghanti Main Bajau Kya?’

Glenn Maxwell who was looking forward to reviving his form in the upcoming series has been depressed ever since he heard the news that Ravichandran Ashwin has been ‘rested’ yet again. On the other hand, Ravindra Jadeja was recalled as Matthew Wade wanted to learn the meaning of a few more Hindi cuss words.

Ashton Agar and Hilton Cartwright made sure they had people around the IPL talent scouts to point at them during the entire game, to ensure themselves an IPL contract next season. SH*T news tried to get other players’ comment but they were busy eating idlis.

Stay tuned for more updates from SH*T News.

Disclaimer: All the characters, story, content is work of fiction and meant for entertainment purposes only.