SH*T News: Gurmeet Ram Rahim claims responsibility for Rohit's talent and Jadeja's knighthood

There have been many unsolved mysteries in the world. Cricket has a share of them. The Duckworth Lewis method was touted as the biggest mystery in cricket before another phenomenon arrived that raised many questions. Yes, we’re speaking about Rohit Sharma’s talent which took the whole cricketing universe by storm.

There have been many conspiracy theories related to the same. One of the theories suggests that Rohit Sharma used to have Maggi every evening during his childhood until he attained sovereignty over talent. Baba Ramdev had strongly denied this as rumours and also claimed that, ‘Sir Don Bradman consumed Patanjali noodles.’ When the media asked him if Patanjali even existed then, he quickly remarked, ‘Sarhad pe jawaan lad rahe hai and you’re asking such nonsensical questions.’

Now, if the recent reports are to be believed, Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh has claimed responsibility for Rohit Sharma’s talent after his recent exploits in the Sri Lankan ODI series. Our SH*T NEWS sources heard him through a peephole in the jail. He was quoted as saying, ‘After I taught Kohli how to bat, even Rohit came up to me for advice. That’s when I told him to stay in my ashram and gain talent. And the results are for the world to see.’

He further also went on take credit of Hashim Amla and Ishant Sharma’s success. He added, ‘Ishant and Amla had come to my ashram. They believed in me so much that Ishant copied my hairstyle while Amla copied my beard. Again the results have shown.’

When asked about Ravindra Jadeja’s three triple centuries that cricket experts around the world still find hard to fathom, Gurmeet Ram Rahim stated, ‘I gifted Jadeja a magic bat from the ashram. That’s how he scored 3 triple centuries.’ When asked why doesn’t Jadeja bat so well now, he retorted back saying, ‘He may have lost that bat, ask him.’

SH*T news tried to contact the cricketers as well and here’s the response we got from them.

Rohit Sharma: ‘HAHAHAHAHA! That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard since Akmal said drinking water makes him fat’

Hashim Amla: ‘I’ve no idea who this guy is. And why does he have such a long name? Is he a Sri Lankan by any chance?’

Ishant Sharma: ‘I would make him jump from the twenty-fifth floor if he said that again.’

Ravindra Jadeja: ‘Sir needs no magic, he has powers of his own’

Somewhere down under, Michael Clarke got hiccups.

Stay tuned for more updates from SH*T NEWS.