SH*T News of the Day: Bermuda and Papua New Guinea ask for Test status after watching Sri Lanka play

After watching Sri Lanka play in the on-going Test series against India, the cricket boards of Bermuda and Papua New Guinea have formally requested the ICC to grant them the Test status. The cricket administrators of the two countries believe they have got the players to perform as well as Sri Lankan players in the longest format of the game.

“This is complete injustice. We also back ourselves to get bowled out for 200 and give away 600 runs to the Indian team. Then why we don’t get the opportunity?”

“Even the names of our players are much easier to pronounce and most importantly our keeper will come up with a better motivational phrase for the bowlers than Eamaaaaaaai Rangaiyyaaaa.” said a furious Bermuda administrator and had a puzzled look on his face.

The representative of the Papua New Guinea Cricket board who had arrived at the ICC headquarters to put forward his demand also echoed the same thoughts as his Bermuda counterpart and accused ICC of being unfair to his country’s team.

“As the governing body of the game at the global level, you have to be fair. What Sri Lanka is doing which we can’t do? Let me tell you they are not the only team which can revive the test careers of players like Ishant Sharma and Rohit Sharma, we can do that with equal effectiveness and we also have a captain as clueless as Dinesh Chandimal. I don’t understand what more do we need to have,” he remarked with anger before going into the meeting with the ICC officials.

However, the Sri Lankan captain Dinesh Chandimal completely rubbished the claims of Bermuda and PNG that they had as much talent as Sri Lanka and stressed that his players possess some rare talent which others cannot replicate.

“What they are talking is utter crap. We are doing extraordinary things on the cricket field. Players of other countries score hundreds with the bat, but we score hundreds with the ball. We have also brought witchcraft into the game. We are trying to do something different. We are doing our bit to make Test cricket interesting.” said a proud Chandimal looking towards his teammate Niroshan Dickwella who had accompanied him to the press conference.

“Anna Hari Anna Hari” said Dickwella in support of his captain.

Meanwhile, our Sh*t News sources have told us that if ICC turns down the demands of Bermuda and PNG, they will go on a hunger strike at Jantar Mantar. They have been promised full support by Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal who himself has the experience of 493 hunger strikes in his life.

Disclaimer: All the characters, story, content is work of fiction and meant for entertainment purpose only.