Legend Stuart Binny decides to retire from Cricket and start a new venture

Legend Stuart Binny decides to retire from Cricket and start a new venture: World’s greatest fast-bowling all-rounder after Imran Khan, Stuart Binny has decided to hang his bottles, err I mean boots after he broke the world record for being on the bench for the longest time in modern day cricket.

Binny’s fast paced in-swingers and his big hitting has given his opponents nightmares and after his brilliant show against the mighty Zimbabweans, Binny feels he has achieved all that is there to be achieved in the game of cricket.

Our correspondent, Rajdeep Pardesi was fortunate enough to get an interview from this legendary cricketer, excerpts:

Rajdeep Pardesi: Good evening Mr. Binny, It is my pleasure to interview you. How often do I get to interview an all-time great.

Stuart Binny: Are you sure you are not talking about my father?

RP: Err. Moving on, what really prompted you to retire from International cricket?

SB: Well, Zaheer Khan, who carried the hopes of a nation for years retired. So I thought, even I should give it a thought. I have carried the bottles of a nation’s hope for years and technically bottles are heavier than hopes.

RP: What are thoughts on being on the bench for the longest time?

SB: It is all Modi’s conspiracy.

RP: Breaking News – Two Gujaratis, Ravindra Jadeja and Axar Patel push a Christian out of Indian team, no place for minorities in Indian cricket team under Fascist Narendra Modi.

SB: Arre I meant Lalit Modi.

RP: Oh….. Next Question then, do you think you and Rahul Gandhi are very similar people?

SB: What? How?

RP: Both your and his father reachedthe pinnacle of success in their fields, Binny Sr. won the World Cup, Rajiv Gandhi became the Prime Minister and when it was your time to replicate it, some Gujaratis took your places.

SB: STOP with this Modi obsession of yours! Ask some cricket related questions will you?

RP: Ok. Ok. What is your greatest achievement as a cricketer?

SB: Easy. Powering India into the Semi Finals of the 2015 World Cup.

RP: But you didn’t play a single game!

SB: You journalists always think only players on the field contribute. Ravi Sir gave me the biggest responsibility during the World Cup, to keep all the players hydrated at all times and if there was an important message to be passed on during the passage of play.

RP: Brilliant job! Can’t even imagine the hard work you’d put in. Any incident where the situation got the better of you?

SB: Yea. It was in the semis, I was missing my favourite aaloo ke parathe and texted Mayanti about it. She texted me, “jaldi ghar aao, parathe baney hai” at the same time, Ravi Sir told me to deliver a message to Dhoni and Jinks, “jaldi run banao, 8 over bachey hai”. In the moment of confusion, I gave Mayanti’s message to those guys and the rest is history.

RP: Breaking News – Stuart Binny responsible for India’s ouster in the World Cup

SB: Arre yaar, at least let me retire with some peace

RP: Ok, so what are you gonna do in the 2^nd innings?

SB: I think it looks a good batting wicket; I will back myself to get the required runs

RP: Err, I meant, the second innings of your life, now that you are retiring.

SB: Oh, that. Yea, I have decided to open a Bar

RP: A Bar? Wow. Sounds amazing! What is the idea behind opening this Bar though?

SB: Actually, everyone made fun of me whenever I used to get the drinks on the field. At weddings, people would say “Aila tu Binny haina? Can you get me 2 bottles of Pepsi?” Even my wife used to tease me, “Baby get something to drink after practice”. As the Joker from Batman famously said “If you’re good at something, never do it for free” and so I decided, I shall open a bar where I shall be the head bar tender.

RP: Great plan. A lot of youngsters will be inspired by this new venture of yours. I think we are done here, good luck with your second innings

SB: Thanks. I think it looks a good batting wicket; I will back myself to get the required runs

RP: *Facepalm* I need a drink to get over this nightmare of an interview

SB: Sure. Give me 5 minutes. I’ll get it.

While going to press, Mr Pardesi was still waiting for his drink. In tomorrow’s edition, we shall tell you if Binny did get a drink for Mr Pardesi or failed even here.

Disclaimer: All the characters, story, content is work of fiction and meant for entertainment purpose only.